First Time Parents

It is really hard to describe all of the feelings and emotions of being a parent. I have always wanted to be a mom more than anything. I worked at a daycare during each summer between college, taught elementary school, and used to love babysitting when I was younger. I couldn't wait to be a mom. When I found out I was pregnant, I couldn't wait to hold that little baby in my arms and know that she was all mine. I still love being a mom, but it is not near as easy as I always imagined. It has been a fun challenging adventure that started the day Brynlee was born. This is the story about the challenges we faced those first few days.

Right after Brynlee was born she was really sleepy. It was really hard to get her to wake up and eat because the only thing she wanted to do was to sleep. I hate hospitals and I was hoping to go home right away. Since I had Strep B I had to wait at least 24 hours until I could leave and there was a possibility they would make me stay 48 hours. The first night in the hospital was long. Those nurses don't let you sleep very well. Brynlee slept right by me and Joel in that hospital room. Every time she even made a peep Joel jumped up to check on her.

When the nurses came in at midnight they were worried about how much weight Brynlee had lost and her temperature was low a few times when they checked on her. The next day the hospital was really busy. I kind of felt like they just stuck us in that room and mostly just forgot about us. The only thing they did was to come in and take her temperature. I knew Breastfeeding would be challenging but the nurses at the hospital were really worried about how much weight Brynlee had lost. I really wanted to leave that hospital and they told me the only way I could was if she gained some weight. They gave me some formula to give her and told me it was best for my baby to drink it. I wish I had know better than to listen to them. Brynlee's pediatrician was shocked that they told me that. Apparently our pediatrician went home early that day so she didn't know what was going on. Brynlee really didn't want that formula either, she just wanted to sleep.

 Eventually the nurses moved us to this tiny little room because they needed the one I was in. Brynlee woke up and ate pretty well that day. They released me from the hospital that afternoon and they we just had to  wait until 6:31 to see if we could go home. Once we were in that room no one came to check on us. They really did forget about us. I sent Joel out to see what was going on. Then they brought me my cold dinner that had been sitting in the other room and a nurse came and took the babies temperature. I was so ready to go home but they wanted us to stay another day. They were worried about Brynlee's weight. I was so mad. I made Joel go and find someone and demand that they let us go home. If the only thing they were going to do is take a temperature, we could do that at home. Eventually they let us leave the hospital but they made us promise to take the baby to the pediatrician the next day. It was almost 11:00 at night when we went home and I was exhausted. It was not the ideal going home experience but I was just ready to be out of there. I couldn't wait to climb in my bed and go to sleep. My mom met us at our house and she set up an air mattress so she could stay the night. I brought Brynlee home in pajamas and put her right to bed but she was totally awake. It was a good thing my mom stayed the night so that we could all take turns holding her. Joel took the whole week off work so he could be home to help out with the baby.

The next morning we called the doctor as soon as we woke up and took her in. Since our pediatrician went home early the day before and she had no idea why they wanted to keep the baby at the hospital longer. Or why they wanted her seen right away. She said Brynlee had a little bit of jaundice so we were told to watch it and to put her in indirect sunlight.

Brynlee slept a lot that first day home and she even slept quit a bit that night. The next morning she slept for five hours straight and when I tried to wake her up and feed her, she didn't want anything to do with it. I gave her a bath and tried again and she just went right to sleep. My mom was gone at this point so it was just Joel and I and we kind of panicked. Why wasn't our baby eating? We loved this baby so much already. We didn't want anything bad to happen to her. Joel took her temperature and it was low. When we were at the pediatrician's office the day before she told us if her temperature was this low it was a medical emergency. We covered her with a ton more blankets, we even warmed one up in the dryer to put on her. Joel called the doctor's office and we rushed her in. As soon as the pediatrician saw Brynlee, her temperature was normal and she was wide awake and ready to eat. I went ahead and nursed the baby there. Brynlee's jaundice looked worse and apparently jaundice makes a baby really sleepy. We had to go downstairs so they could check her jaundice levels. We ended up taking Brynlee back to the hospital everyday that week, from Tuesday to Friday.  They had to prick her foot and draw blood so they could test it and she screamed every time they did it. Her juandice levels got a little bit worse each day. On Friday they had someone come and bring us the bili lights that we had to keep on Brynlee all weekend. We felt a little silly for rushing her in when there was nothing wrong that first day but our doctor was nice and we found out why she was so tired.

The sunday after Brynlee was born was Joel's first Father's day and he had to go to church all by himself while Brynlee and I stayed home and rested. On Monday Brynlee's jaundice levels were much better and we got to take her off the bili lights. As soon as her jaundice levels were better, she started to sleep less and eat more. Nursing eventually got a lot easier for both of us and things settled down.

After Brynlee ate a meal, Joel would often burp her. The first time he tried to burp her he had a huge blanket draped all over his arm and the front of him. Joel's brother told him about how his babies would spit up all over the place and Joel was really paranoid about it. She didn't actually spit up until she was a few days old. At that point we were starting to think that Brynlee wasn't going to be a spitter. The first time she actually did it, Joel panicked. He hurriedly came and got me, trying to figure out what he should do. After that first event, Brynlee spit up all the time.

Being a parent is such a life changing, amazing, wonderful, and challenging thing. We still aren't experts but we are figuring it out and trying to enjoy every minute of it. Kids grow so fast and they change so quickly. I really do love being a parent.  (This post was officially written on March 7, 2013)

When Brynlee Joined our Family

We started the year 2010 out in Rexburg, Idaho. I was about 17 weeks pregnant at the time. We lived with Joel's brother and his family for about a week while we waited for our place to be ready. We got a super good deal for a cheap little trailer. The place had it quirks but we liked it. The washer and dryer were in the bathroom which left hardly any room to sit on the toilet. Plus the shower head was down so low I barely fit under it.

While we were there we drove back to Boise several times for my doctor's appointments. We planned on having the baby there and didn't want to change doctors for only a few months. It worked out that For most of my appointment Joel had a monday off so we could go to Boise for the weekend and drive back to Rexburg right after the appointment. The worst thing was that I had to do the three hour glucose test and they only did those on Thursday morning. For that appointment Joel took the day off and we drove there on Wednesday night and then we drove back after spending three hours at the doctor's office. They had to take my blood every hour so it was a long day. The good thing is that my glucose test came back normal. The drive wasn't fun at all! I was getting really uncomfortable at that point.

In April we moved back to Melba, Idaho into the same place we lived before. At this point our baby was due in about two months and we were both super anxious for her to arrive. We didn't tell anyone the name so my family was dying to know what we were naming her. Somehow we managed to keep it a secret. I had a lot of heartburn and a hard time sleeping, plus I was super uncomfortable, but for the most part I felt pretty good.  I loved feeling the baby move.

Jan. 2010

Feb. 2010

March 2010

April 2010

May 2010

June 13th - Three days after the due date and one day before the arrival

Brynlee was due on June 10th of that year. When June came around I was expecting her to come any day. On the 7th of that month we went to the doctor and found out I was already dilated to a 3. My doctor said that I could have this baby any time I wanted to at this point. Joel and I thought about it and decide to wait another week. If the baby didn't come on the 14th we would be induced. I was fully expecting the baby to come before that but the 14th finally came with no baby. I was having contractions that whole night so I think she was planning on coming that day anyways, we just sped her along a little bit.

I got to the hospital at 7:15 that morning. After putting in the IV and the antibiotics since I was strep B positive, I was ready for the epidural. I was still debating if I wanted one or not at that point but then I decided that since I had to be induced I wanted an epidural. I was getting some strong contractions. I heard the medicine they give you makes your contractions much more painful. I got the epidural around 10 and they broke my water right after that. Then I was confortable and happy and I got to just relax, watch tv. and wait for my baby to come. My family was really anxious to meet the baby so they were in and out the whole day. I found everything so interesting and it was all really exciting since I couldn't feel any pain. It was a really great epidural.

A little before 4pm I was ready to push! Unfortunately, my doctor was busy. He wanted to know it I could wait. Ummm, really? My nurse told me I should just tell him to get over here. But she also said if I waited and got another dose of the antibiotics, it would be safer for the baby and the hospital would be less likely to make me stay in the hospital for another day. I liked that prospect and I wasn't in any pain so I figured I could wait a little bit. I started to push a little after 5pm and I pushed for almost an hour. Brynlee finally arrived at 6:31pm that evening. My doctor didn't actually arrive until right before that. He had to use the vacuum on her because she wasn't coming out on her own.

As soon as my baby was here my family all rushed in to see her. They doctor held the baby out the door so they could get a peek and they got to come in and hold her once she was all cleaned up. Of course, the first thing everyone wanted to know was the name. Joel's family came and saw us at the hospital the next day.

The feelings that overcame me when they laid that tiny little baby in my arms are indescribable. She was so tiny and perfect and I couldn't believe she was mine. She was 8 lbs. 5 oz. and 19(1/2)in long and so beautiful. The vacuum the doctor used gave her a very odd shaped head that got really swollen and bruised but she was still the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. I love being a mom and I am so glad this sweet little baby got to join our family. We love our sweet Brynlee. (post was written dec. 2012)

Back in 2009

Our second year of marriage started out with a new apartment. Joel and I enjoyed living in our own place again, even if it wasn't near as nice as our first apartment. It used to be a veterinarian clinic so it was not set up like a traditional apartment. We even had to walk through the bathroom in order to get to the pantry.

I taught school until the end of the school year. Joel started another semester of school and went the whole summer. When I was done teaching I went on lots of bike rides and I visited my sister in law Katie and her little girl a lot to pass the time, but I was still kind of bored. Joel and I went fishing a few times but we never caught anything. In fact, we had the most fun catching worms. Joel had never gone night crawling before. We also went to Canada, my first trip up there, and we visited Joel's parents. 

When Joel finished his semester of school, we went to Melba and he worked with his brother, Jake at the farm in the mechanic shop. He was on the Summer, Winter track so he was off of school in the fall. Going to school three semesters in a row was hard on Joel so he was ready for a break. Right before we moved to Melba, Joel's parents moved down from Canada and they ended up moving into the same house we were going to move into. For about a month and a half we lived with them. Luckily they are easy to get along with but it was hard to have to share our house again. Especially since I didn't have a job. Then Joel's sister Janeen needed a place to stay as well. At the same time there just happened to be a place to stay down by the snake river. It was a lot further away from everything but it was all our own and it was much nicer than where we were living at first. So we moved there.

It was fun to be around family again. I took advantage of visiting my parents whenever I could. Joel and I took a fun trip to Lake Tahoe and Virginia City with my family at the end of the summer. Once harvest started, Joel worked really long hours. In fact, I hardly saw him.

During the fall, I put in several applications to substitute teach. One of the first grade teachers at Melba Elementary school was getting ready to have a baby so I had an interview for the job and felt it would work out great if I could do it. The day I found out I had the long term sub job is the same day I found out I was pregnant with Brynlee. I was a little nervous about working at that point but I was determined to do the job. I found that if I ate a good breakfast and had a snack in the morning, I would be fine.

Substituting was a lot harder than teaching my own class. I tried to do things the way the teacher did things but she was a lot stricter than I am. I had fun doing it and I am glad I had something to do during the day. A lot of the pressure was off this time because I didn't have to worry about planning the curriculum. Plus she had several parents and other helper that copied and did a lot of her grading for her. I wish I had that when I was teaching. It made life so much easier. When I went home at the end of the day, I could just relax and even take a nap if I needed to. The job worked out perfect. I was sad when the teacher came back to work and I had to say goodbye to all the kids.

We spent Christmas that year with our families. We got to be Mary and Joseph for the Christmas in Melba night. After Christmas we had to move back to Rexburg so Joel could do another semester of school. Right Before we moved, we found out we were having a baby girl! We were super excited and couldn't wait for what the future would bring. (Written Dec. 2012)

Newelyweds

Joel and I spent our Honeymoon up at a cabin in McCall. We had fun playing on the snowmobile, sledding, building a snow fort, and playing super mario on the super nintendo. We were sad to leave and come back to reality.

As soon as the Honeymoon was over, Joel and I drove to Provo, Utah so I could attend my college graduation. My parents came with us so they could watch my graduation and they also came to Rexburg to help us get moved in. My graduation was good but I got a bloody nose right after I walked across the stage and shook hands with L. Tom Perry. I had to walk out and rush to the bathroom. All of the stalls were full but a lady in there gave me a kleenex. I stuffed it in my nose and tried to get back in to the ceremony but they wouldn't let anyone through the doors. I had to wait for Joel and my parents to exit once everything was over and then we left right away. I didn't really want to see all of my old friends when I had toilet paper stuffed in my nose.

We drove to Rexburg and moved into our third floor one bedroom apartment. We had a dresser, a bed, a table with four chairs, and two rocking chairs and three night stands, one for the T.V. We were in love with our new place and happy to be there. Joel started working with a construction company on monday. His brother, Josh worked with the company and it fulfilled Joel's internship requirement. He had to work really long hours and he worked a lot. They gave him lots of Fridays off to make up for it but it was hard on me to have him gone all the time during the week. Joel was able to build us a desk and bookshelf with some left over wood from a house.

For the whole summer I filled out job applications and looked for a job. I didn't know anyone in Rexburg so it was lonely and kind of depressing. We went home to visit a lot and my sister Alesha came and spent a weekend with us in Rexburg. We also spent a fun week up in Oregon with my family.

I didn't find a job until the end of the summer. I had started to think I wasn't going to find one and then I was offered a job with two different schools. Eventually I took a job teaching first grade at Hillview Elementary school in Ammon, Idaho. I felt so blessed to finally have something to keep me occupied. I had a great class with the best kids. Maybe I will write more about that later.

Joel was about to finish his internship right before I started teaching school. Eventually Joel started school again and I was busy working. I helped him with his homework and he helped me come up with teaching ideas. We spent several Saturdays at the elementary school with Joel helping me prepare things for the week.

We went to Boise for Thanksgiving and for Christmas. While we were home for Christmas we got in a car accident on Christmas Eve. We went to a party at Joanna's house and it snowed a lot while we were there. There were lots of big snow drifts. Joel was driving on the way to my parent's house and going a little too fast when we hit a really big snow drift and the car started spinning right out of control. And we were headed for some really big trees in someone's front yard. I remember Joel telling me to hold on. I was holding two chocolate covered cherries and they flew out of my hand as we crashed into the wooden fence of someone's backyard and our bumper hit their huge tree. Luckily we were fine. The car was really beat up and undrivable, not to mention it was down a big hill from the road, but it was fixable. The owners of the house were nice and invited us in to watch the football game. Apparently we were the second car to crash into that fence that year. We were less than five minutes away from my parent's house so my dad came and got us and we left the car there for the night. I was really sore the next day but we felt blessed that there was not that much damage. Joel and his brothers, plus my dad, all went out and got the car on Christmas Day and Joel had the bumps beat out and it was sanded and ready to paint before we left back for school. It just looked a little bit funny.

This is our car before the crash on a trip to the sand dunes where we got it stuck in the sand. 

Joel started new classes in January. His brother Josh started to build a house there in Rexburg when the company he was working for (the same one Joel worked for that summer) went out of business. Josh had to finish the house but he couldn't afford rent. His wife and daughter went to live in Boise with her parents while Josh moved into our one bedroom apartment. Joel offered to let him stay with us and I was mad at him for doing that without even talking to me but it worked out ok. Joel helped him a lot too and I even helped out a little bit too. The worst part was that it just took up most of Joel's free time. Josh brought his king sized mattress and kept it in our living room, along with a few suitcases. We would just set the mattress up when we wanted to use the computer or watch tv. In the middle of February Joel's parents came from Canada to help Josh with the house so we had even more people living in our little apartment. They stayed for a month and all three of them slept on that mattress in our living room. It was quite the site to see them asleep on that mattress in the middle of our floor. In April Joel and I celebrated our one year anniversary by moving into a new apartment. We found a cheaper place and we thought the move would be a good way to save some money. We moved right before our anniversary. Josh stayed in our old apartment until the end of the month and then his house was done enough so he could move in.

Our first year as a married couple was full of lot of adjustments, arguments, working things out, and many many fun adventures. Being married is still a challenge even today but so worth it. Joel looks out for me and takes care of me and I try to take care of him. We are a team and we work together. Our marriage has never been perfect, it is hard work, but we are committed to this thing and in it for eternity.

Engagement and Wedding

Joel and I spent a few days together right after we got engaged and then we both had to go to school. I had to finish my last semester, my student teaching, and Joel started his first semester. The worst part is that I was in Utah and Joel was in Idaho. We took engagement pictures before we parted and planned the wedding while we were at school. Joel got himself a cell phone for Christmas so I could actually call him when I wanted to.

 Joel made some trips to see me and I made one trip to Rexburg where I got to meet Joel's parents for the first time. I stayed with them and Joel's youngest sister and nephew Tyson in the spare bedroom of his brother Josh's small apartment. It was fun to finally meet them. They came down because one of Joel's cousin's was getting married.

Joel had an early morning custodian job that semester so he went to bed really early. I spent the beginning of the semester student teaching for a second grade class all the way in Sandy, Utah. Which was a 45 minute drive for me and the weather was really bad that winter. Eventually I got to teach Kindergarten in Orem which was only 15 minutes away. I liked that so much better.

BYU lasted one week longer than BYU-Idaho so we had planned to get married one week after I was done, on the 26th of April. Then we found out that the school I was student teaching in had their spring break the week of finals so I got done a week early. As soon as I learned that we decided to move up the wedding day a week. It was set for April 19, 2008.

Joel and I finished school on the same day and Joel came and got me. I left my car loaded with all of my things at my aunt's house. We drove to Boise and spent the week finalizing all of the wedding plans. My cousin's drove up with us in Joel's car. I think they packed more things than we did.

It felt so good to be around Joel all the time again. We couldn't wait to be married. We went to the temple on Wednesday night so I could take out my endowments. On Friday most of our families were here. We had a fun family picnic at the church while we set up the decorations and got ready for the reception. Joel got to meet my aunt Lisa and her family and several of my aunts and cousins and I got to meet all of Joel's sisters and their kids. It was a really fun get together.

On Saturday, Joel and I went to the Boise Idaho Temple and we were sealed around noon. It was such a great feeling to be sitting in the sealing room surrounded by all of our family and to know that we were being married for eternity. I was sad that not everyone could come but I wouldn't trade that feeling for anything. I did get a little worried earlier though because they told me to wait in this room and that Joel would be here any minute and he wasn't there for almost an hour. At least is seemed like that long. I was starting to think he wasn't coming but they just got mixed up and had him waiting somewhere else. Thank goodness he didn't change his mind.

Joel and I got to walk out of the temple hand in hand that day as husband and wife! We stayed there and my uncle Rob took hundreds of pictures for us. We took lots with family and some with just Joel and me. By the time we got home we were both exhausted but we still had to go to our reception.

The rest of the night is kind of a blur. I was in such a state of happiness. I remember lots of great food, speeches, and family. I think a good time was had by all. At least, I had a really great time. Lots of family and friends came out to support us. We left in Joel's old car that was decorated with just married written all over it. Not to mention there was newspaper all in the front seats. We also heard clanging all the way to my parent's house. It turned out to be old cans and milk jugs that were tied to the bumper. At my parents' house we changed cars and drove to a motel room for the night.

The next day we went up to a cabin in McCall for our honeymoon. We didn't get to stay for long because I wanted to make it back to Utah for my graduation that was on Thursday and Friday. Not to mention, Joel had to start work for his internship on Monday. It was still great while it lasted. We were just thrilled to finally be married and together again. (Written Dec. 2012)

Popping the Question

Joel and I went on our first date in at the beginning of June 2007. In September of that year I left for school while Joel stayed there in the Boise area. Right before I left, Joel's oldest nephew, Tucker, was killed in a four wheeling accident; which made it even harder to leave. Joel made the six hour drive down to Provo to see me several times. He even drove up just for the day to see me on my birthday. Normally he would stay at my aunt and uncle's house. All of my roommates loved it when he came because he would fix anything that was broken.

The hardest part about being away from Joel is that he didn't have a cell phone. He would usually call me at night before he went to bed from his sister's phone but I had no way of contacting him. Somehow we survived those long months of separation. Joel's sister had a baby boy (Taggert) during that time and Joel worked like crazy so he could get lots of money to pay for school and the ring he wanted to buy. I survived a long, hard semester of school and a four day stay in the hospital with meningitis. At this time I knew I loved Joel and that he wanted to marry me so I was praying really hard to know if this was what the Lord had in plan for me. For a while I didn't think I was getting an answer and I was getting worried that this wasn't right. I remember pouring out my heart to my Heavenly Father asking him if this was right. I think it was just the feeling I got afterwards. I wanted it to be right so bad and the thought of not being with Joel was heartbreaking. There was no reason for the Lord to say no so that is when I knew it was right. I was ready to take the next step in my life and get married. Joel and I were both committed to our relationship, we just needed to make it official.

During Thanksgiving that year, I went home and we spent the holidays with my family. Joel went shopping on Black Friday so he could find a good deal on a ring. He wouldn't tell me if he bought one or not but I was pretty sure he did. He drove me back to school and we stopped at temple square at Salt Lake and we looked at the christmas lights. Joel tried to take me up to the top of the conference center but it was closed. He had wanted to propose up there but he didn't have the ring with him at the time so it is just as well. He took me to school and then He left for Canada.

 I finished the semester and then I went back home for Christmas. Joel spent some time with his parents and got to help them build their house.  He got a job working at an Alfalfa Cubing company and then came down to be with me for Christmas before he had to start school. He tried to propose to me several times while we were there. He took me to this nice romantic place one time and told me this nice story and then all of a sudden he just ended it and we went home. We were sitting on the couch one day when we panicked and had me leave the room. He lost the ring out of his pocket in one of the couch cushions. He was carrying it in his pocket in case a great opportunity came along where Joel could propose. I am going to let Joel tell the story about how he finally proposed. He wrote this paper for an english class and I think he told the story really well. In fact, whenever I read it it makes me fall in love with him even more. I am just going to include the whole paper. (He said I could) It is kind of long but I think it is well worth the read.

Oct, 8, 2008

                                                          Popping the Question

        Melissa and I had gone on many dates and I was seriously thinking about proposing. I had strong feelings that she was the one I was to marry. We shared same life goals and really enjoyed each other’s company. I thought it would be perfect for us to be married; I only hoped Melissa would see things the same way.

    On December 31, 2007 around five o’clock, I arrived at Melissa’s elegant abode to escort her to play new-years-eve card games with my family. As I picked Melissa up, I must have had a strange worried look on my face, because she asked me if something was wrong. I wondered if she suspected anything. Trying to come up with some kind of excuse to keep the proposal a secret; I said I was just a little tired, trying to play my startled look down. She seemed to except it as truth, which helped me keep my secret. 

     I tried several attempts previously to popping the question, but nothing worked. I felt ill prepared, not confident in myself. I was mostly scared what other people would think if they found out the way I proposed was kind-a lame. I wanted it to be special for just the two of us. I wanted it to be something no one had ever done before, yet something everyone would be amazed by. I looked everywhere for ideas, on the internet mostly, but all of those ideas seemed unrealistic to Melissa and I (and way too expensive). I plead with my siblings for any information on great ideas for proposing.  I finally got the perfect idea from my sister Joanna when her husband Travis carved out “Will you Marry me” in the St. Anthony sand dunes. Then it clicked, I knew what I would do.  Adding my own little twist to the idea I discussed it with my two older brothers Jacob and Josh. We came up with a grand plan, to make this proposal explosive. I felt confident that this idea would work, I was ready. I had decided that if I spelt the words out there would be no way I would chicken out like in the past. Tonight I was bound and determined to ask no matter what happened.

     Melissa and I finally arrived at my sister’s house in Melba after the thirty minute drive. Those thirty minutes I was engulfed in a lie, I had never lied to Melissa or tried to trick her before. I felt like I was destroying her, keeping this a secret, but in all reality I was only torturing myself. She seemed calm, like we were just going to have some fun. But I knew that it was a disguise for the proposal. I didn’t want to do that to her, but to keep it a secret I did.

     I was extremely nervous, trying to decide the words I would share with my sweetheart, when the time came. It must have seemed like I was off in my own little world as we held our cards. I was just nervous hoping everything would work out as planned. My family looked at me like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. They couldn’t believe I was going to do it tonight. I could tell they were excited for me.

        As we played games my brothers disappeared, I had to watch the clock now to get the timing right, if Melissa and I arrived too early or to late the proposal would be ruined. It was finally time to leave, we said our goodbyes but instead of taking her home, I asked her if she wanted to go look at the stars for a few minutes. She really liked that idea, we enjoyed being alone together so we could talk and ponder on the future. I got a phone call just as I was heading out the door; to my astonishment it was Jacob. They weren’t ready. I needed to stall. I thought to myself what am I going to do? Melissa is going to suspect something now for sure. I played it cool, deciding to have a longer drive to look at the stars.

        We took off in my 1989 tan Honda Accord to approach the spot; I pretended to get lost for almost fifteen minutes, when my brothers were frantically getting ready. I hoped and prayed that everything would work out well that night. Time dragged on, the fifteen minutes seemed an hour. She must have assumed something now.  I decided that if she already knew or if the night didn’t develop into the dream it was intended to be, I would ask her anyway.

        It was running on eight o’clock when I asked my sweetheart Melissa to marry me. We arrived at a cliffs edge on the outskirts of Melba, Idaho. We Overlooked the Snake river Valley into a huge sea of blackness. As I started out this day, I had confidence that my dream of finally asking the one I love to marry me would come true.

     It was time!  I was scared and nervous. I couldn’t think straight. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? Having my two older brothers there to help me made things easier. We had created a plan and it was ready to be tested. When Melissa and I arrived at the edge of the cliff in my car, she had no idea what was going to happen. This was just what I wanted her to think. It needed to be a surprise to make it memorable. When the Lights of the Honda were turned off the sign had been given to my older siblings. Melissa and I heard someone down in the black abyss say “Lets light this thing.”  As I escorted Melissa to the edge of the cliff, tripping over lava rocks, she was oblivious to what was going on. She was even somewhat reluctant to get so close to the edge.

     All of a sudden, down the cliff about three hundred feet, an extremely bright light started to appear. It was a fire that had been started. My heart started to pound in my chest faster than a thousand stampeding horses. The flames started to roar.  We could feel the heat, as the words WILL YOU lit up the valley floor. When Melissa was preoccupied with looking at what had just happened, and thinking what it meant, she didn’t notice me gradually getting to one knee. The sharp jagged lava rocks poked into my knee, but I didn’t even flinch. Nothing could stop me from popping the question now. It had to be done. The flames raging uncontrollably weren’t even enough to daunt me. I knew what the answer would be; I just needed to hear it from her lips to be reassured that she loved me enough to spend the rest of her life with me. As my Sweetheart looked down at me, we instantly caught one another’s eyes. Shocks of uncertainty shot through my veins. Looking into her fire reflecting eyes, as the warm breeze blew her brown hair gave me great courage. Her eyes were waiting, wanting to hear the words. As I continued to look at her something amazing happened. I could see things; Things that I could never see before. It was like I looked into the soul of God’s most beautiful creation, and was able to know all of her secrets and desires. It felt like the fire was swarming up the cliff warming my insides, but it was her eyes that warmed me. Assurance filled my heart and I knew we were to be together forever. Still looking deeper in her eyes I made out my own reflection which wasn’t on the surface but somewhere in her soul. It almost felt like eternity opened and told me that our life together was planned from the beginning of time.

     I thought I was stalling, waiting too long to ask. I was caught up in the moment of wondering about our life. I finally asked her “Melissa will you marry me”. A bright white smile appeared with the word “yes”. All the tension and worry completely released me. The feeling that we both wanted to be together is all we needed.

     From the time I met my beautiful wife; scared, unsure, excited, and assurance feelings have flooded my heart. Now that we are married, the scared feelings and the unsure feelings have diminished. And now we have feelings of greater love for one another, a pure love. A type of love that no matter what comes into our lives we can handle them. Together we are strong.

This is the spot where Joel proposed

I sure do love Joel. No wonder I fell in love with him. For the record Joel never asked me to look at the stars with him. He said we needed to get some tool for his sister. (He said looking at the stars sounded better for the paper though.) Joel was acting kind of nervous that whole day and there were several private phone call with his brothers on my cell phone so I knew he was up to something and that it had to do with proposing. I was still surprised when I saw the  fire. I didn't suspect that. I also remember that my first reaction after he proposed was to ask Joel why he didn't tell me to get my camera. I went to get my camera before we left and Joel told me I didn't need it. It really was the coolest sight. I am still sad I don't have a picture of it. We went back to this spot a few years later and you can still see the words burned in the road. (The road was closed for the winter because it is really steep.) Joel's brothers Jake and Josh almost got caught by a policeman after Joel proposed to me. They put out the fire and left quickly because they could see him coming. I am so glad Joel finally asked me to marry him. He picked out the ring all by himself and he did a great job. I sure do love him. (Written Nov. 2012)